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Advanced Disney and Dragons

I’ve seen a lot of points, both good and bad, regarding Disney’s purchase of Lucas Film and it’s properties, and now there are rumors of Disney buying Hasbro. The rumor says it’s for GIJoe, Transformers, and action figures, but I don’t care about any of that. There is one property owned by Hasbro that I do worry about though, Dungeons and Dragons.

I’ll be honest, I haven’t played D&D in a while, not since it was AD&D 2nd actually. I think it was what they did to the Planescape setting that really did it for me. Well, that and completely changing the rules around and trying to get me to buy all new books every couple of years. But there will always be a special place in my heart for the game, and if my friends can stop popping out babies all the time, maybe I’d bust out the old books and give it a go again. Of course, that always depends on what Disney does with the property. Sure, there is a chance that they don’t do anything, and it just continues on as it has been, but that doesn’t make for good reading, so instead, lets look at the outrageous possibilities…

Pro

  1. A new Dungeons and Dragons movie, but made with the care that put together  The Avengers.  How freaking awesome would that be?  Whether it’s live action (and the ILM guys help) or it’s animated by either Pixar or Disney themselves, it’s probably going to be good.  I’d even just take an animated TV series set in Faerûn.
  2. We get new princesses the likes of Goldmoon, Lidda,  Mialee, or any of the hundreds of strong female characters.  Princesses who don’t wait around for their prince, but pick up their swords and slay the dragon themselves.  Plus, they’d probably have a higher Save Vs. Spell, and could shrug off all the curses that keep taking out normal Disney princesses.
  3. Disney likes to bring their old stuff out with a big fanfare.  They crack open The Vault all the time and find a movie to sell that went out of print years ago.  Sure, they only do it to drive up sales when they re-release the movie since everybody knows that it’s going out of print again regardless of demand, but perhaps they’ll do it to resell some old books.  Is your old Planescape boxed set looking bad?  Well, they’ve opened the vault and are offering the  20th Anniversary Edition.
  4. Seriously, they have tons of money, and could probably reprint, or even make a whole new edition of Planescape.  It was my favorite setting, but was canceled with 3rd edition because the style of books were to expensive to print.  They were probably the best looking of all the books, but the profit margins were just too low.  Disney could probably make this happen, and quite frankly, if they brought it back with the same look and feel, I’d probably buy all the 5th edition books that went along with it.
  5. Dungeons and Dragons world in the park.  A wild town with dwarves, elves and orcs coming together to trade.  A tavern with the best ale and stew for leagues.  Temples to gods, both good and dark.  Wizards in their towers throwing fireballs at dragons.  The possibilities are literally endless.  This could put the Wizarding World of Harry Potter to shame.
  6. Kingdom Hearts.  Whether you add D&D the game, or make a setting for D&D, it would be just plain awesome.

Con

  1. They make a new movie, and it’s a musical.
  2. Disney inserts itself into all the settings.  The Monstrous Manual adds Broom and Puppet Golems.  Mousekateer and Princess are character classes.  And Goof is added as a new PC race option. (Although, I could see Chernabog sitting on a mountain watching the Blood War unfold)
  3. All the adventures get the Disney Story treatment.  None of the big Disney movies follow the original stories ending.  Pocahontas married John Rolfe after she was told that John Smith was dead, then she herself died at the age of 22.  The Little Mermaid drinks a potion that removes her tongue, not just her voice, and gives her legs and the ability to dance, but dancing causes excruciating pain, and in the end, the Prince marries another girl, and the mermaid dies and dissolves into foam.  The Hunchback has an even worse ending.  Imagine going on an adventure where everything is nerfed and singing crabs just hand you the solution.
  4. Penises hiding everywhere.  Disney animators have hidden penises in every movie, we don’t need them added to the Players Handbook…

I’m going to guess that the first option, that it’s going to continue on as it has been, will be the actual result of the purchase, but a boy can dream, can’t he?