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Archives for : Rants

Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider

I hated Tomb Raider growing up. It was the jumping puzzles really. I hate games where you have to back flip off a tightrope, then do a somersault over a fence, and finally land on a 4 inch square or else the room explodes and you have to do it all over again. I saw Tomb Raider for sale on Steam the other day, and figured I’d give it a shot. It got great reviews, and didn’t really look like it was just back flipping off shit so you could land on other shit. I just finished it the other day, and I wasn’t disappointed. Really, I quite liked it. I thought the quick time actions were a little lame, but otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed the game. There are some people who didn’t enjoy the game though, and for some of the dumbest reasons. As a warning, there will be some spoilers ahead.

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Video games don’t make you kill

catcher in the rye Earlier in the week, there was a shooting in DC. Twelve people were killed by a mad man, and before they even got to the evening news, there were reports of violent video games. So what?

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Miley Cyrus is not Hannah Montana

Miley Cyrus 01

I watched Miley Cyrus’s performance at the VMAs and her latest video, and there is one thing that really just blows my mind. No, it’s not the teddy bears, the foam finger, or even the twerking. No, it’s all the people out there who can’t seem to tell the difference between Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana.

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Fake guns don’t kill people

I grew up pointing plastic guns at my friends. We’d pretend to shoot at each other, people on TV, or just shoot at imaginary people. Never in my youth did I ever think that a fake gun and a real gun were the same thing. I understood that real guns were dangerous and you didn’t play with them. I understood that fake guns were fine to play with, but you if they fired foam darts or those little plastic discs, you didn’t aim for someones face. These were basic rules that I understood from a very young age. Somewhere between the 80’s and today though, people seemed to forget the difference between fantasy and reality.

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The Downfall of Science Television

megalodon01

The Discovery Channel screwed up. As Wil Wheaton would tell it, they screwed up big time. It seems that when they opened up Shark Week, they did it with a mocumentary about megalodon sharks that survived into modern times.

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Dickwolves

The Sixth Slave

While Penny-Arcade can be an offensive comic on occasion, there is one comic in particular that people have found extremely offensive.  That comic would be the above picture one entitled, “The Sixth Slave”.  Many people were offended by the use of the word rape, seeing this as a rape joke, and glorifying rape culture.  I don’t see it that way.  In fact, I see it as being the opposite, using the horror of rape to drive home the fact that when you play a video game, taking the role of a savior and hero, rarely does the player actually care about the NPCs beyond how much experience they will get them.  How many times have you played Wow or some other MMO, and just ran past a bunch of chained up prisoners or slaves, that you completely had in your power to save, and just ignored.

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Please don’t make a Black Panther movie

Black Panther 01

Everybody seems to be excited for a Black Panther movie.  “He’s like an African Wolverine” or “We need more black super heroes”, are the two main reasons I’ve heard people say that they are excited about it.

Myself, I don’t think he’s the best choice, for a couple of reasons really…

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Jeff the Killer

Jeff the KillerI’ve never really been a fan of the Jeff the Killer creepypasta. I know plenty of people really like it, but I just never got into it. Essentially, it’s the story of a horribly scarred thirteen year old boy who goes crazy and kills people. Myself, I don’t think it’s a good story. It’s a bit longer than I like my creepypastas, and it’s got a bit that just doesn’t make any sense in it.

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How does Superman Shave?

OK, first off, when did Blossom get a PHD? Maybe I should actually start watching Big Bang Theory, aside from all the forced nerdiness, it’s apparently nothing but a nostalgiapalooza of actors from my childhood. That said, why is this even a thing? Everybody should know how Superman shaves.

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Cthulhu and Aquaman would not be friends

Cthulhu would hate Aquaman

Seconds later, Aquaman was devoured…

One thing that Aquaman forgot when he decided it was a good idea to start bossing around a Great Old One, is that Cthulhu is not an ocean creature.

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