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Corey Feldman, virtuoso

Ascension Millennium

The internet is a vast and strange place. I’ve seen fury porn. I’ve seen gore. I’ve seen crazy Russian drivers. Every time I see something crazy, I’m convinced that I’ve seen weirdest thing ever, but then I click another link, and bam, there is something crazier. Take for instance Corey Feldman’s music career.

Now, an actor wanting to be a musician isn’t anything new. Many different actors have tried their hand at singing with varying degrees of success.

Being an actor is fine an all, but let’s face it, everybody wants to be a rock star, so I don’t begrudge any anybody the attempt. That said, this video is pretty bad. Corey’s got the whole Michael Jackson thing going on, in the description of the video, he talks about his “Feldmansion”, and “Corey’s Angels” (who look like they were paid enough to show up, but not enough to actually look interested in Corey), and the constant robot voice through out the song…

It’s terrible. Seriously, it’s probably one of the worst songs that I have ever heard. This song quite possibly beats out “The Hunger Music Video” as the worst music video I have ever had the misfortune of viewing.

Still though, this does not surprise me. There is nothing puzzling about THIS Corey Feldman video…

No, there is another Corey Feldman video that is currently the weirdest thing I have seen so far.

That’s Limp Bizkit, bringing Corey Feldman on stage to sing Billie Jean. How does that happen? Who contacted who first to set this up? Did Fred Durst’s people contact Corey Feldman? Or was it the other way around? Is Corey Feldman just a really big Limp Bizkit fan, and they asked him on stage when they saw him at the show? Are all the people at the venue really there to see Limp Bizkit? Seriously, this happened in May, three months ago. This wasn’t something that happened during the peak of Limp Bizkits career, this JUST HAPPENED.

If you don’t mind, I think I’ll spend the next few hours weeping for humanity…