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The Fappening!

The Fappening

In case you’ve been under a very large rock this week, you should know that a crap ton of celebrities had their shit hacked, and naked pictures were released on the internet. It was a glorious occasion to some, and completely devastating to others.

First, I want to state that taking naked pictures isn’t the problem here. If you want to take naked pictures, go for it. Naked pictures are awesome. There is no shame in taking a naked picture of yourself or your significant other (with their consent of course).

That said, if you do take naked pictures of yourself, you need to be fucking smart about where you keep them. How many times has there been a celebrity have photos leaked that came from iCloud? If you are a celebrity, why the hell would you store your pictures there? Hell, if you are a regular person, why the hell would you store your pictures there? The cloud is for things that you need access to anywhere you go. You should put your portfolio on there, maybe your résumé, keep your class assignments up there, but unless you’re a nude model by profession, you probably won’t need access to your nudes at a moments notice. Keep those things on your hard drive at home.

Ignorance is no longer an excuse here either. They probably aren’t good at all the ins and outs of contract law either, which is why they hire agents and lawyers to handle that stuff. Likewise, tax laws can be pretty confusing, which is why they hire accountants to manage their money. They even security experts to make sure that they are safe at home and when they go out. Maybe the first celebrity can say that she just isn’t good with technology, but after a few dozen have their pictures leaked? There are thousands of IT consulting firms out there. Hell, even the Geek Squad would probably be able to tell you to keep your nude pictures somewhere else.

It’s nice to say that it’s no fault of their own that the pictures got leaked. After all, they did nothing wrong. The pictures were in a private account, they were password protected, someone had to break the law to get to them, and it’s that person’s fault. While this may be true, we don’t live in a perfect world. It’s nice to say that people shouldn’t hack into someone else’s account and leave it at that. You don’t have to do anything special to safeguard your stuff, it’s up to the thieves to not steal it. If that’s all you had to do, Tiffany’s wouldn’t have those big vault doors on their entrance.

Tiffany & Co.

Seriously, walk past a Tiffany & Co. store after they close some day. They don’t just have one of those chain link gates pulled down in front of their doors, they have big, thick steel doors that they lock up with. Even the windows will have a smaller vault like covering over them. And even if you manage to get past those, you still can’t get to the jewels since they take them all out of the display cases and lock them in a safe. Wal-Mart may be OK with leaving jewelry in unattended glass display cases, but Tiffany’s knows that they have something that is incredibly valuable and that some people will do anything to obtain, so they take the necessary precautions to safeguard them.

Now imagine that Tiffany is a sexy actress that everybody wants to see naked. Is she going to keep her nude pictures in iCloud (or any cloud service for that matter), or is she maybe going to go a little further to secure them?

Now, please, whether you are a celebrity or a nobody, learn from this. Store your nude pictures somewhere safe.  Don’t store them in the cloud.  Don’t store them on a thumb drive or other small device you can easily lose.  Keep them on your home computer, in a hidden folder, and preferably password protected.  If you don’t know how to do this, then you should talk to someone who does and have them help you.

And lastly, when choosing your password, make it something that is difficult to guess, and don’t make all your passwords the same.