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Friday the 13th: Jason Takes the Highlands

Jason Takes the Highlands

Over the years, we’ve seen Jason Voorhees kill, seemingly be killed, and then rise to kill again, with little to know explanation as to why. But I think I’ve figured it out.

Let’s start with what we know about Jason. First thing, is that he’s got some kind of chromosomal disorder, this has caused various physical deformities and a mental handicap. Despite his handicap, he shows proficient skill in killing people. He’s like one of those autistic kids that can’t do anything, but if you hand them scissors and paper, they’ll cut out a perfect copy of the Chicago skyline, only he’s doing it with your spleen.

In 1957, he drowned while attending Camp Crystal Lake. Twenty-one years later, after his mother goes on her second rampage, we learn that they never found Jason’s body, and that “he’s still there”.

Two months later, Jason is back. After watching his mother being killed, he seeks revenge. Throughout the rest of the series, Jason is shown to shrug off massive amounts of damage, and even appearing to come back from the dead.

Some people have thought Jason is some kind of zombie, but that isn’t right. First off, if he really did drown as a kid, why the hell did he grow up?  He had to be alive at least during the events of Part II.  And then he didn’t receive any single wound that was particularly deadly until Part III, but even then, people have survived worse injuries.

A couple ibuprofen and he'll be fine

A couple ibuprofen and he’ll be fine

It’s in the fourth movie that we can finally say that Jason Voorhees was actually killed. He takes a machete through the face, and then is hacked apart by a now psychotic Tommy Jarvis. If that’s the case, then he was alive for the first four movies. Likewise, when we get to Jason X, we are told that he is very much alive, and that his body regenerates tissues at an abnormally high rate. No, Jason isn’t a zombie, he’s a different form of unrelenting killing machine. One that we’ve seen before.

The Highlander

Think about it, in the Highlander series, we have a large group of immortal people whose only goal is to find each other, and cut their friends heads off. Even when the immortal friends Connor MacLeod and Sunda Kastigar meet, Connor is curious as to whether or not his friend is trying to poison him. They are all psychotic. Their only saving grace is that most of them save their head chopping for each other and leave the mortals alone.

Of course, Jason is a little different.

Young Jason Voorhees

First off, he’s mentally retarded, so when he feels the need to kill, he doesn’t understand that he’s only supposed to kill others like him, he instead thinks that he’s supposed to avenge his mother. Just like an immortal, he shrugs off damage, and rises again after receiving a mortal blow. Unlike a normal immortal though, his chromosomal deformity means that he didn’t heal quite right. Some times he would be slower to rise, maybe even needing some kind of trigger to wake him, other times he may walk around with gaping holes in his chest that never actually seem to heal right.

Now, I know what you are thinking, if Jason was an immortal, why didn’t anybody like the Kurgan or Ramirez seek him out? The game was going on the whole time, someone should have found him, right? Well, ignoring the TV show here, any immortal we see is normally centuries old by the time we get to the Gathering in 1985. During this time, all the immortals were busy killing each other. When the 1950’s rolled around, there probably weren’t that many left, and the ones that were, probably didn’t have the time to wander through the woods looking for him. Besides, by that time, they only had to wait a little longer for the Gathering, and he would come to them.

Only, he didn’t make it to the gathering. The second through third movies all take place one right after the other, so they essentially all take place in August of 1979, and at the end of the fourth movie, Jason is buried in a cemetery. As we all know, being buried is something that will eventually happen to any immortal, so The Game has taken this into account. In Highlander III: The Final Dimension, we see what happens when an immortal is buried alive. Connor receives the Prize at the end of the first movie, and enjoys it for several years until Kane is release from the cave, and suddenly the game begins again. When Jason is finally unearthed in 1986, Connor would have had the Prize taken from him for the few days that Jason was alive again, until Jason sank beneath the lake, to appear to die once more.

Seriously, the 80’s must have been hell for Connor, every time he thinks he’s won, he spends a couple of days trying to figure out just where the hell the other guy was, only to have him disappear off the face of the Earth before he can find him.

Want more proof? Well, in 1989, Jason finally did make his way to New York City for the Gathering, he just did it 4 years too late. In Part VII, he catches a river cruise filled with students, and rides downriver to the Big Apple. Unfortunately, he never ran into the MacLeod, instead, he drown in the toxic waste that they flood the sewers with every night. I know, it’s a stupid ending, but it’s the ending we got. What’s important is what happens afterwards though.

New York is suddenly hit by a freak lightning storm. It’s the same kind of thing that happens any time one immortal kills another. It’s the Quickening. All the power that he has amassed is released when he dies. I know what you are thinking though, he didn’t get his head cut off, he just kinda melted and turned into a child, that shouldn’t have released the Quickening, but don’t forget, he has extra chromosomes, and not all of his immortal abilities are working correctly.

When the toxic waste burnt and melted Jason, his screwed up DNA took it as him dying, and released the Quickening.  The release of all this pent-up energy, actually caused Jason to revert back to a child like state. Missing most of his body mass after the toxic waste melted it away, his immortal body did the only thing that it could, and rebuilt him as a child.  After this movie, a now younger Jason wandered back to the one place that he felt safe, and then rent to sleep. He slept until he was woke up by Freddy (Yeah, Jason Goes to Hell was terrible, so we are going to do the same thing that Halloween did, and ignore the movie that gave tried to give the franchise a shitty supernatural origin), who reminded him that he is immortal, and that he is supposed to kill.

Macleod probably spent years trying to figure out why he kept being thrown back into the game for a few days every few weeks until finally, in 2008 he is finally captured by the U.S. Government. They kept him locked up for two years before he was frozen, and once again, taken out of the Game. At the end of the first Highlander movie, after winning the prize, Connor lets us know that “I can love and have children. Live and grow old.” By the time that Jason was thawed out, Connor would have been dead for centuries, but he started a new golden age of humanity where we traveled out into the stars.

Now, Jason is the last immortal alive, this means that the prize is his, and a new dark age for humanity will be ushered in. Earth Two is in for bad time once Jason wakes up. Just what exactly does a mentally handicapped serial killer do when he suddenly knows everything?

Unless, of course, the game starts over again every so often, with new immortals, each fighting to win the prize and determine the fate of the next generation of humanity. Hopefully, there is a really good swordsman out there in the future able to take out the new and improved Super Jason.

Make that, Super Jason, and normal Jason both

Make that, two really good swordsmen