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Left Behind

Bearded Ass Fuck

So, one of those beard guys from the duck show wants everybody to see the new Left Behind movie.  He seems to have the brilliant idea that watching Nick Cage give one of his brilliant freak out performances as the pilot of an airplane that suddenly has half the passengers disappear will help convert atheists.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy many Nick Cage movies, but I don’t think I would ever that I would ever use him as a salesman for a religion.

The man honestly believes that people will watch Cage freaking out, and suddenly find Jesus.  In case you aren’t that familiar with his works, let’s do a quick review of Nicolas Cage’s acting:

Now again, I want to state that I do love several of his movies. I think he’s a great actor, he just chooses some very shitty roles, but if that’s what it takes to finance his castles and comic book collection, then good for him.

That’s not what I’m here to talk about anyway.  I looked at Beard Guy here, sitting in that chair, and I noticed something.  The wild beard hair, the position of his hands, the shape of his mouth…


Ancient-Bearded-JesusJust glue that beard to the top of the head, and he’ll forget Jesus and start rambling on and on about aliens.