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Missing flight 370

Psychic Tila

Everybody is trying to find the missing Malaysian Flight 370. I think more countries have joined in the search than fought in the last world war.  Even Courtney Love has gotten in on the game and claimed she’s found the plane.  But let’s face it, none of them have a chance.  Finding that plane is worse than looking for a needle in a haystack.  What we need now is a real hero.  We need someone whose talent in remote viewing and astral projection is far beyond that of mortal man.  We need a 5000 year old angel that has viewed the Earth’s magnetic field from space with her own eyes.  We need someone who can do all that, while wearing nothing but lingerie.  We need Tila Tequila!  But where is she?  She’s left the internet.  Gone, missing for months now.

If ever there was a time for her to return to the internet, surely this is it.

Where are you Tila?

We’re sorry we mocked you for being a nazi sympathizer.  We didn’t mean it, we know you’re really a good person.

We need you.  The Malaysian Airlines needs you.  The world needs you.

Please, put on your shortest skirt, fly up to the Moon, and scan our oceans for the missing jet.

Unless its actually on the Moon.  We may need a different hero for that.

Unless it’s actually on the Moon. We may need a different hero for that.

Besides, what could she be doing that’s more important (NSFW!) than trying to find this plane?