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Sabrina Lovecraft 01

From the time that Jughead’s crown was a time machine, to the time that the Punisher came to town, Archie Comics have had their share of weird moments.  More recently though, they have decided to go even further.  Not only have they decided to kill off Archie (well, an alternate timeline Archie at least), but they also decided that Sabrina the Teenage Witch needed to take a bit of a turn for the eldritch.

After using a spell from the Necronomicon to bring Jughead’s dog back as a zombie, and subsequently setting off a zombie plague, Sabrina decides that she needs some help.  Enter Dr. Lovecraft, a nice New England doctor with a bit of a weird shadow.

Sabrina Lovecraft 02

Like any good doctor, he gets right to the heart of the matter.  Sabrina needs a man.  Well, OK, maybe not a “man” exactly.  She needs something a little older, and greater.

Sabrina Lovecraft 03


She needs Cthulhu.

Is it ridiculous?  Sure.  Incredibly ridiculous.  When I think back to when Sabrina the Teenage Witch was on the air, I could never imagine an episode coming close to even thinking about mentioning Lovecraft, let alone having her marry the big man himself.  Is this something normal that happens in her comics?  Are her adventures there less slapstick situational comedies and more cosmic horror?

I’ll be honest here, I have no clue when it comes to Archie Comics or any of their properties.  Really, I can’t even believe they are still around.  Are they in bad shape?  Is this a stunt designed to get people to buy more of their comics, or do they do these types of things regularly?  From what I can remember of Archie, I imagine they’ll pretty much butcher Lovecraft’s work by forcing it into the comics, so I don’t think I’ll be picking it up…

Of course, if they ever make a movie about it, and get Melissa Joan Hart to reprise her role as Sabrina, and maybe continued to the wedding night…

Bride of Cthulhu

I think I could be convinced to watch it…

Bride of Cthulhu 02

Yeah, I’d watch that…

Can someone call Melissa?  Can we make this happen?

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