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Archives for : movies

Barack Obama & Sean Connery in “Zardoz”

Barack Obama & Sean Connery in Zardoz

Just started a new job. It’s their busiest time of the year. I’ve put in multiple twelve hour days this week…

This is the best I could come up with right now…

Zombie Baroness in G.I.JOE 3?

BaronessWhen the folks over at IGN were talking to the screenwirters for G.I.JOE: Retaliation, they let slip that they would like to “resurrect the Baroness like a zombie” for the third movie. Now first off, she isn’t dead, just locked up and filled with nanites, so I don’t know why there would be any resurrection, second, it would be completely unnecessary to do so. I’ve already gone into a third G.I.JOE movie a little bit before, but I’d like to go a bit more in depth.   Spoilers ahead…

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The scene from Jurassic Park that could have been

Eldritch Park Jurassic Park 3D was amazing, and the movie still stands as having some of the best special effects I have ever seen. Even on an Imax screen, there were barely any issues with it. I really wish that modern movie makers would look back at what they used to make and see how awesome what they are making now could be. There is one thing I would think about changing though…

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American Psycho

American Psycho is one of my favorite movies. Christian Bale’s just completely batshit insane performance is brilliant. Huey Lewis’s dissecting Bale’s dissecting of his own song, also brilliant. Weird Al pretending to be clueless and drunk, sheer comedic genius! Making a sequel to American Psycho, not as brilliant. Mila Kunis’s portrayal of a psychotic killer in American Psycho 2, also not as brilliant.

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation

GIJoe Retaliation Just saw G.I. Joe Retaliation. It wasn’t a bad movie, it was a hell of a lot better than Rise of Cobra, but then, that doesn’t mean it was a good movie. Here’s the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly about it (some spoilers ahead)

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Everybody knows the line, and many could probably quote the whole crawl. But what exactly does “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away” actually mean? Just exactly how long ago, and how far away are we talking?

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The end of immortality


They keep talking about remaking The Highlander ever since Summit Entertainment bought the rights in 2008, and if they want to make one, they had better get started, because immortal characters hiding among us mortals is soon to be a thing of the past.

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There’s something about science fiction and lingerie that just goes together

You ever notice how the more advanced a society gets, or the greater their technology gets, the smaller the outfits become. Soon, you are left with nothing but the skimpiest of lingerie for people to wear.

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Whatever happened to monster movies?

What happened to monster movies? Specifically, the “nature gone wrong” genre.  Growing up, I had all kinds of movies about various parts of nature going crazy and eating everybody.  Sure, some of them were pretty terrible, but they were still fun movies.

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Prince Charming wasn’t looking for a Princess that night

So, Cinderella goes to a ball and spends all this time dancing with Prince Charming, and when the clock strikes midnight, she runs out.  This leaves the prince with just a shoe to remember her by.

Now, in every adaption that I have seen, it’s not a masquerade ball, it’s just a regular ball.  The look at each others faces.  He should know who the girl is just by seeing her, and not have to have every female in the kingdom try on shoes.

Since the only thing he can remember about the girl is below the ankles, I am left with two conclusions.  Either the prince has an extreme foot fetish, or he’s gay and just wants to find the other slipper so he has a matching pair of the most fabulous footwear in the whole kingdom.