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Zalgo

zalgo 01

Zalgo, like Slender Man, originated on the website Something Awful, but like Slender Man, he has grown a life of his own. He has been called “He Who Waits Behind the Wall” and the “Nezperdian Hivemind” by various groups. Zalgo himself is described as being an eyeless abomination with seven mouths. His right hand holds a dead star and his left hand holds the Candle Whose Light Is Shadow and is stained with the blood of Am Dhaegar. Six of his mouths speak in different tongues. When the time is right, the seventh shall sing the song that ends the Earth.

Thankfully though, we never really see Zalgo in his entirety, instead, we see the effect he has on those that find him.

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Thankfully though, Zalgo doesn’t affect the real world, just the world of old comics and cartoons, at least, that’s what his creator has said. So what exactly is Zalgo then? Sure, he’s some kind of Lovecraftian entity, waiting on the threshold of reality to pull us its victims into madness, but what kind of cosmic world ending entity uses all it’s power to drive Garfield crazy?

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I had an idea while thinking about Zalgo. What if Zalgo, is us? What if the wall that he waits behind, is the fourth wall, the one that separates the comics from us? What if they hear six mouths, each speaking different tongues, because they are printed, and then read, in multiple languages? What if all the distortion and warping they experience is because each comic is eventually crinkled up, burned, drawn on, shredded, or otherwise destroyed?

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Now, as I said before, the creator of Zalgo has confirmed that he only affects the world of comic strips and cartoons, not the real world. This should make you feel safe, right? Except, there are many instances of people claiming to see Zalgo in the real world.

This may be a little troubling, because if the Zalgo in comics is created by the actions of all the different people reading the comics, then what is causing the Zalgo that affects us?

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Now, you may be thinking that Zalgo can’t be real, after all, if he was, then all this crazy shit would be happening. We’d all be hearing voices and there would be tentacles sprouting out of everybody, but that’s not happening, right?

But think about it, in comics, we can see what people are thinking. Whether it’s just a thought bubble, or their dreams are actually animated, we generally know what a character is actually thinking. We see what is in their mind. When we see a manifestation of Zalgo, he isn’t really destroying the comic, but he is destroying the mind of characters.

What if those people that we called crazy, actually aren’t? What if the people that we have locked away in padded cells aren’t just hearing voices inside their heads, but are instead hearing what is beyond the fourth wall, and it’s just too much for them to comprehend.

Right now, there are physicists trying to determine if we actually exist in a computer simulation, and if we are, who knows what is on the other side of the computer’s monitor, and what effect they could have on us, or what they may do once we actually find out we aren’t real. We may yet hear the song that ends the world start to play when one of them reaches for the reset button.

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